Valde att inte skriva dagbok, varken för Adam eller Cal. Det fick bli ett extra kapitel istället..
Läs och komentera gärna, öppen för kritik.

Additional chapter

Consciousness. It is a strangely fine line between consciousness and unconsciousness. I never really know where I am. Maybe I'm just dreaming. There is nothing scarier than getting to sleep. Will I ever wake up? Will I hear Adam's voice again?

He stopped touching me. He knows the pain. The slightest pressure feels like an elephant trying to balance on my body. But it hurts even more when I don't feel his skin against mine. Then it feels like my body is about to implode. It is only he who can get me to remain intact.

Music. I want to listen to music. All is so quiet. Maybe they don't know that I'm awake.
- Hello! I'm not sleeping anymore!
No sound.
What a hassle it is to not being able to see, not being able to talk, not being able to move at all. I only have the almost-functioning hearing left. So why not use it?

Now it has been quiet way too long. I can't stand it. To hear my mom and dad quarrel now would be wonderful, anything is better than this. But they would never do it when I hear them. They want me to die in peace. They have no idea how unpeaceful it is with silence.

I can hear the sound of a bird collides with the window. It is here now. Here to pick me up. Here to lead me to a world beyond this one. But as long as no one opens the window, I am safe. I am safe. That thought leads me to calm myself down. I'm so relieved that I dare go to sleep without fear of never waking up.


Kanske inte så långt som ett kapitel brukar vara men om man kollar i boken, Before I Die, så ser man hur kapitlena blir allt kortare och kortare mot stutet..

                     //Hon som alltid gör saker sekunden innan de ska vara klara..

Heej, suttit uppe nu under natten och skrivit en recension till en bok jag har läst på engelskan här är det färdiga resultatet:

Book review on Before I Die, by Jenny Downham
The main characters are: Tessa Scott, her brother Cal, mom, dad and Adam.
The book begins sometime in the fall: "I could hear the whisper of leaves hitting the grass at his feet. Invading Autumn." and ends in April: "Out There Is A bright April morning. The world Will Roll On Without Me. I Have no choice. I'm full of cancer.".
The book takes place mostly in Tessa's room and the hospital. Her room is clean and furnished with only a bed, a bookshelf, a wardrobe and a chair. Above her bed is a wall full scribbled in pencil. The hospital is the type that all hospitals are mostly, bright and sterile.
Let me tell you a little about Tess, it's Tessa's nickname. She is the one who tells the story, which is written in first person. Tessa is 16 years old and have cancer, leukemia. Her hair has just started to grow back out again after she has finished chemotherapy. And in doing so she also has become increasingly narrower. The cancer spread through her body and Tessa are becoming weaker but she decide to live first. Therefore, she writes a list of ten things she wants to do before her illness makes her so weak that she can no longer move.
Sex.
Drugs.
To say yes to everything for a whole day.
Break the law.
And so on ...

But while she operates the list, she discovers that there are more important things she want to do before she dies and the list is getting longer and longer. She falls in love with Adam, who is two years older than Tess and lives next door. She knows it is wrong to fall in love when you only have a few months left to live, but she can't help it. Adam keeps her fear of death away and sits by her bed until the very end.
The final chapters are very strange and short as she lost speech and movement ability, and only hear fragments of conversations and she is just conscious a few minutes at a time.
I didn't like the beginning of the book because I did not really feel involved in the plot. The middle part of the book was wonderful and then it is really hard to stop reading at night no matter how tired you were.
The end, however, reduce the final grade because there were too many meaningless comments. Would have preferred a bit more detail, but one good thing was said somewhere in the last chapters: "a little bird moves a moutain of sand one grain at a time it picks up one grain every million years and when the mountain has been moved the bird puts it all back again and that's how long eternity is and that's a very long time to be dead for"
I love that quote. It makes my review score for this book rise again. So if I could put points on the book would be about 7  out of 11.




Kanske lägger upp en på svenska ngn annan dag men nu måste jag verkligen gå å sova.

Natti natti!
                //CarrO